Sometime after we were married, my husband and I started talking about timing for the “next step”–when we would have a baby. Although I started to have inklings of “baby fever” just a few months after the wedding, we agreed to enjoy the first year of marriage and revisit the subject around our first anniversary.
I don’t want to get into all the nitty-gritty details of our journey to have a baby. But I do feel like fertility problems are sometimes a little “taboo” or something, so I feel a certain responsibility to at least be honest about our experience. As we were going through it, we didn’t share our troubles with anyone. We really held onto the ideal, and wanted our families and friends to be surprised. Plus, I didn’t think I could handle people asking me about it, because some days, it was the last thing I wanted to think/talk about. There were days, sometimes weeks, that were extremely hard. In the end, our problem paled in comparison to the problems of others, but when you’re in it, every problem seems difficult to deal with–no matter how small or large.
Essentially, after being off birth control for 7-8 months (we weren’t trying during this time), my body decided to stop ovulating consistently. Coincidentally, my body stopped working right at the time we had decided to start trying to get pregnant. Last summer, I went 100 days without a period before my doctor gave me drugs to have one. We thought perhaps it was an anomaly, but in the fall, it happened again, and it became clear that we weren’t going to get pregnant if I couldn’t get my body working like it was supposed to.
After some evaluation, my doctor suggested Clomid. By this point, we were pretty frustrated since it had been months and we hadn’t even had a chance to get pregnant yet. In order to move forward and get the show on the road, we agreed to give the Clomid a try. My doctor told me that we had three cycles of Clomid to get pregnant before she would refer us to a reproductive endocrinologist (fertility specialist).
Long story short–Clomid was my miracle drug.
Our first Clomid cycle was a bust, and I was tremendously disappointed and discouraged. When the end of the second cycle was drawing near, I took a pregnancy test and got a negative–again. For whatever reason, I was more relaxed about the results this time, and went on with life. The next day, I tested again: another negative. Life continued to go on. Two days after that, my period was officially due. I took a third test, waited for two minutes, didn’t see anything (another negative, I figured) and went back to bed until the alarm.
When I got out of bed half an hour later and went to shower, I took a second look at the test and saw the faintest of faint second lines. I thought perhaps it was an evaporation line, and knew I couldn’t trust the results since the “testing period” had long gone, so I really didn’t think much of it at all. But I did say to Michael–”This is weird. There is something there, and that’s never happened before. If I don’t get my period today, I’m testing with the GOOD test tomorrow.” (So far, all the tests I had taken were Dollar Tree tests.)
I never got my period. (Oh, and my chart? Possibly the most beautiful chart EVER, if I do say so myself.)
On Tuesday morning, we woke up together and I went into the bathroom to test. I broke out the “big guns”–a First Response Early Response. I took it, opened the door, and waited for the results with Michael. After a minute or two, I turned around, picked up the test, and started laughing. There were two lines, and there was no question about it. We knew then that we’re having a baby. I think we were both in shock. We laughed, we hugged, I cried.
Of course, I still wanted to “confirm” with a digital. Because I was apparently too giddy to read directions correctly, I accidentally wasted two digitals. They came up with invalid results. I was pissed! I just wanted to see the word “pregnant” pop up, was that too much to ask? Thankfully, the third (and last) digital test in the box worked, and I got my wish. “Pregnant!” From then on, it was real.
January 12, 2010 = Life will never be the same.
AboutI'm Heather. I just turned 30. I'm happily married, and mommy to the most beautiful little girl in the world (what, you're saying I could be biased?). Determined DIYer and homeowner. Sarcastic. A perfectionist. A bleeding-heart liberal. Frugal. Loves a little dog way more than many humans. Loves food, hates exercise (it's an ongoing battle). A loyal football fan. I love to laugh. Value family and friends above all else. Vie to be a world traveler.
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